On our own terms: allowing for complexity in how non-binary people identify and relate

What it means to be non-binary is as expansive as what it means to be a person. There is absolutely no single way to be non-binary, including how we act and are perceived, the pronouns we use, and the general & relational terms we use as well (such as uncle, girl, brother, mother, and so on). Some view ourselves as something more “between” the binary, while others view ourselves as something detached from it entirely — I personally think both can be true in a wonderfully contradictory way. As non-binary people, we find in ourselves the ability to define for ourselves, unbound by the encaging norms of cisheteronormativity, who we truly are and how we want to relate with the world.

Individual & interpersonal complexities

On an individual level, there isn’t necessarily any one standardized way any of us want to relate with others. We’re allowed to embrace different pronouns, gendered nouns, and relational terms based on the different relationships we hold with others. For example, as a non-binary person, I do not feel comfortable with people referring to me as as a man, brother, or anything of that sort. That said, I have some family, especially found family, who I know see me in my full self, and for some of whom I don’t mind them calling me…